When expectations fail

Ellie Tanko, Beginning Journalism Writer

“You’re a wack.” “That’s weird, don’t do that.” “Why are you like this?” These are all statements I’ve received from boys that I’ve talked to. When I first start talking to someone, usually it’s pretty good for a while. Then, somewhere along the line, they learn something about me that maybe doesn’t fit how they wanted me to be.

         I have had lots of girls open up to me about their struggles with boys. I hear the same kind of things over and over again. “Well I don’t think he will ever like me” or “I could never be able to date him because he wouldn’t want to date me.” All kinds of girls with different backgrounds have this distorted image of themselves. They believe that they aren’t good enough for someone, just based on looks or social status.

       These girls have been taught that the only way to have a guy find them attractive is to fill this image of perfection for the guy. They believe that they have to look perfect, act just right, and do whatever the guy wants them to do. They have fear to express themselves for who they really are, because it might not be what the guy is looking for. Many women have transformed themselves, in their own minds, that they are a product and that they are supposed to be chosen by the boy they care about.

      Some say that men are just looking for attractive qualities in women to date, and not completely judging them. What’s sad about that is the attractive qualities tend to lean towards the girl’s outward appearance, versus her inner thoughts and feelings.

      Women shouldn’t feel restrained to act a certain way. They should have the freedom and confidence to be themselves without apologizing. Women need to treat themselves better by not thinking of ways they aren’t good enough. The wholesome realness of women comes out when there aren’t expectations placed on them.