If you don’t know what ghosting is or you’ve never experienced it, consider yourself lucky, because in the simplest of terms: it sucks. I’ve experienced my fair share of ghosting, unfortunately, and I can confirm that it is a different kind of pain and nothing that I would wish on anyone, even the people I don’t particularly like. 

According to Urban Dictionary, ghosting is “when a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they’re dating, with zero warning or notice beforehand.” The worst part about being ghosted is constantly wondering why. Why would they do such a thing? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? But in the end, it’s never about something you did or said. 

Psychology says people ghost to avoid confrontation and conflict. And at the core of it, it’s often done with the good intention of not hurting someone’s feelings; but that doesn’t make it hurt any less because the person being ghosted will blame themselves and pick out their every insecurity until one of them makes sense as to why they’re being ghosted. It is by far the worst way to end a relationship, whether that be with a friend or a significant other, because it leaves the person questioning everything about themselves. 

I understand that ghosting is the easiest way to end a relationship, because you don’t need to explain yourself or talk to the other person at all, but it is also very cowardly. You are quite literally taking the easy way out versus talking things out with the other person. The other person deserves an explanation, and they deserve your respect. Ghosting isn’t a one and done thing. That person will think about it constantly and it will eat them up inside. Instead, just be honest with the other person. I understand not wanting to hurt the other person or deal with their questions, but it is better to just rip the bandaid off and answer these questions, instead of making the other person question themselves for months afterwards. One way or another, if that person cares about you, they’re going to get hurt in the end, so you might as well make it hurt as little as possible by just being honest with them.