A couple of weeks ago I decided to go to my second home, Coffeesmiths, to work on homework in a different environment. When I sat down at a table, by myself, the barista asked me if I was meeting someone. I laughed and said, “Nope, just me.” A year ago, this would have made me extremely uncomfortable. It used to be difficult for me to go places by myself because I didn’t want to be perceived as a loner. However, my mindset has changed completely over the past couple of months. I love to be independent. I am perfectly okay with going places by myself and sitting alone for hours on end. To quote my alter ego, Velma Kelly, “I am my own best friend.”
For most of high school, I have been in a relationship almost constantly. Ever since freshman year, I felt the need to be “talking” to someone at all times. However, after a few rocky breakups last year, I decided to swear off relationships. I spent my summer completely independent and have continued to be pretty much on my own this whole school year. I think this has been an extremely positive step in my life. I have used this time to figure out who I really am when I’m not trying to be something that a significant other would like.
Relationships can be really time consuming. Because I am not in a relationship, I have more time to spend with my friends. This is really important to me because most of my friends won’t be going to the same college as me next year. I also have more time to spend with my parents, who I will be moving away from next year. It is more important to me to spend time with my friends and family than to spend time with someone who will probably end up dumping me in a few months.
Relationships can also be really hurtful. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but aside from a few rare exceptions, most high school relationships will not last very long. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache if I would have focused less of my energy on dating in my first three years of high school. It’s usually not worth it in the end because most high schoolers aren’t really mature enough to handle a healthy relationship.
If you are like I was and feel the need to constantly be in a relationship, take some time to yourself. Figure out who you are. Enjoy some alone time. If you haven’t been in a relationship yet, don’t sweat it. High school is a great time to enjoy your friends and family and avoid the stresses of relationships.