It’s justified when you do it, right? You were only venting to a trusted friend. But when other people gossip about you, it’s wrong. This is high school. Pretty much everyone has gossiped or been gossiped about. However, you probably want to know why gossip was spread in the first place.

There are many reasons why people use negative gossip against a particular person. In all cases, they are insecure and deal with their insecurity by personally attacking someone else’s vulnerability. They either do this because they are jealous of someone, whether it be situational or seeing parts of other people they themselves lack, or because they see a trait someone else has which the gossiper might hate about themselves. 

Thus, they feel the need to make them aware of it or they think it will make them appear less vulnerable and insecure. You can see this in the one guy who fat shames, who’s probably deeply self conscious about his physical appearance, even if he doesn’t realize it. Or maybe that girl in your friend group who can’t stop complaining about the kid who “talks too much and is so annoying,” is worried about how she appears in social situations and feels the need to fix the other person.

However, one might argue, they were just venting about one annoying person or expressing concern because that one person just can’t take care of how they look. Or maybe that one kid in their friend group was really getting on their nerves, but why did it bother them so much? What was so annoying about the person? Was it really even them, or was the problem the person who couldn’t deal with their own insecurities? It’s okay to have insecurities, but it’s not okay to take it out on others. For those of you who have been on the other end of gossip, remember this is why we still need to be kind. Even if someone is mean, they might be dealing with something painful. Of course, that isn’t a justification, it should matter how you feel and what you’re going through. However, it is not an excuse to treat someone badly.

It’s only high school, and after three years you may not remember high school events, drama or crushes; you will remember how someone made you feel. So before you decide to “vent” about that one person, look at yourself and try to figure out what really bothered you. Was it them or was it you?