I have been stripped of so many lasts. From my last show choir season, last dance competition and last chance to dance on stage during recital, due to an injury. To my last BPA nationals, Journalism conference (for which, I would have spoken at), my last concert singing in an ensemble where Mr. Walker directed me. I never grasped the thought of what it meant for something to be the “last time” I’d do it, until now.
I never truly understood what people meant by the saying, “The things I would do to do this one last time”. Until I realized my last time doing those things were already past. The pain I have in my heart knowing I will never be able to do these things again will forever be there.
The thing I will struggle most with, though, is trying to comprehend the fact that I won’t experience my final day walking the halls of the place that helped shape me into the person I am today. For many of you who know me, I was the female winner of the Senior Superlative, “Worst Case of Senioritis”. This means I am someone who wants to leave the most, never look back and move on with life. Yes, this is true and I do believe these things but I never thought I would leave Xavier without a final goodbye.
Going back to freshman year, I never thought my high school experience would include the Flood, the Polar Vortex and lastly COVID-19. I never thought in a million years, the day I have been counting down to for the past four years….might not happen when I thought it would or if it would even happen at all.
To anyone who is reading this, please don’t make the same mistakes I did and take things for granted. Give it your all, never rush a moment and never wish for something to be over. Live in the moment like it’s your last. You may not know it then, but that moment might actually be your last.