Cats review

Christine Hilario, A&E Writer

Few pieces of media have elicited a true, visceral sense of dread in me. The movie adaptation of Cats is one of them. 

Within the first five minutes of watching the film, I was treated to a lingering shot of grotesque CGI cat creatures crawling towards me with menace in their eyes. I felt like I was about to be attacked. 

Horrifyingly enough, it was only downhill from there.

It is baffling to me that executives at Universal Studios thought it was a good idea to produce a $95 million movie based on an 80s musical about singing cats. 

The film centers around a tribe of Jellicle Cats. Essentially, it is “American Idol” for cats except the prize is death. The movie lacks tension and momentum because each scene consists of a cat introducing themselves through an annoyingly catchy song then disappearing  for  the  rest  of the movie. 

The makers of this film were able to convince A-list celebrities to be a part of this monstrosity. This cast includes stars like Judi Dench,  Jason Derulo, Idris Elba,  Jennifer Hudson,   Ian McKellen,  Taylor  Swift and Rebel Wilson.

Most of them are barely in the movie, except for Dench who plays the leader of the Jellicle Cats and Elba who plays the main villain of the movie. Elba’s cat has the ability to teleport and turn other cats into dust. These powers are never explained, but I find them hilarious and worth mentioning.

Although this movie is a plotless mess, I was never bored while watching. The unsettling visuals kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time. I want to find the person who decided it was a good idea to put human faces on cats and give them a medal for creating the most disturbing creatures that have ever been put to screen. At one point, the cat played by Rebel Wilson peels off her skin, revealing a sparkly vest underneath. There are dancing mice and cockroaches that also have human faces. Only a few of the cat-people wear clothing, and this makes the other cats seem painfully naked by comparison. The visuals of this movie are like a horrible, expensive train wreck; it is impossible to look away.

After days of pondering Cats, I cannot think of a good reason why this film exists. There is no story, no lesson to be learned and absolutely no one wanted this. All that being said, I still somewhat enjoyed this movie purely because of the spectacle; disasters can be fun sometimes. 

Based on quality, I give this film 1/10 stars. However, on the basis of ironic enjoyment, I give this film 6/10 stars.