Hang with a babe

Ellie Tanko, Assistant Opinion Editor

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The other night I went to dinner with a very handsome, charming young man. Just as the conversation got really interesting, he told me he wanted to show me something. He left the candlelit dinner table abruptly and bounded off to go grab what I assumed to be a very flattering gift. I sat with sounds of harmonious conversation and the lull of soft lighting filling the room. As he re-entered the room, he walked with his arms behind his back. He inched closer blushing slightly with a large grin stretched across his face. Quickly, he whipped out a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle baseball cap and bopped me in the face. I guess that’s what I get for hanging out with a 2 year old.

In case readers didn’t catch that, I hung out with a literal two year old. I wasn’t babysitting; it wasn’t because I was forced to; he’s not my brother and I had no obligation. I simply thought that hanging out with a baby would be the chillest thing I’ve done in a while. In other words: I thought it’d be lit.

Honestly, the conversations were pretty intriguing. He’s actually quite skilled in politically debating. When I brought up who he liked more, mom or dad, he babbled out that mom lets him have fizzy water, so she “is the goodest.”

Babies are cute. Duh. Though,  there might be one in the bunch that we can all admit isn’t the best looking, but still who wouldn’t cuddle with any baby as long as he or she is not crying?

The best part about little tots is they’re not judgemental. We all have friends we wouldn’t mind saying bye to because they’re not the kindest. Kiddos are way better than most of our friends who are the same age. They’re sassy, but they couldn’t care less what I like to do, what I look like or what recent fashion trend I’m wearing. They really only care about what I’m wearing if it has tassels, sequins or texture so they can go ham on it and shred it to pieces like a wild animal.

When it came to table manners, he never raised an eyebrow if I accidentally missed my face whilst trying to transport food into my mouth. In fact, I think we have a lot of the same table manner issues in common.

Even better than refraining from judging, they actually can relate to you on your struggles. If I put a little weight on, all I have to do is look at their gloriously chubby folds to make myself realize that fat can be cute at times.

The vivacious gentleman I spent an evening with was the prime example of how toddlers and babies as a whole are pretty rad. I am so glad I got the opportunity to hang with him at a family dinner. Shoutout to the following little rad dudes and dudettes: Logan Skala, Becca Tanko, and of course Thatcher Blank. Kids are the bright future of tomorrow, but for now they’re the most turnt partiers. Go hang with a kiddo, I know I learned something new.


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Hang with a babe