Dear moms (or future moms),

Yes, I’m talking to you. As a teenage girl, I’ve seen the stress you put on yourselves. I’ve been there when you were trying to find a pair of pants that not only fit your thighs, but also weren’t ten times too big around the waist. I’ve sat on your bed while you shamefully put on a cover-up, telling me, “No one wants to see me in a swimsuit.” I’ve laid in bed at six a.m., silent, while I hear you sigh a few rooms over because your weight went up again. These aren’t just things I witness, they’re things I feel.

Let me ask you a few questions. How many times have you looked in the mirror and put yourself down because of what you see? Now, how many times have you done that in front of your daughter? Your son? Why do you do that? I can predict your answer will be similar to mine when I put myself down. We say these things because we believe it’s true, but what does that teach your kids?

It teaches your daughter that it’s okay and acceptable to shame her looks or her body. When you’re a little girl, your mom is everything to you. She gave you life after all. No little girl cares what her mom looks like, because they know their mom is beautiful in every way possible. They witness the little things that mirrors do not catch. They see the smiles when they tell their mom to style their hair “just like mommy’s.” They see tan skin develop from yard work and playing outside entertaining the kids all day. However, eventually, little girls grow up. The comments you see as harmless criticism develop into real, tough assessments that your daughter puts onto her own body. Just as the saying goes, “like mother like daughter.” In recent years, I’ve often asked myself, “If the one perfect woman in the world can’t love herself, how am I expected to love myself?”

It teaches your son that all women are flawed. While this may be true, humans are created to build each other up, not put each other down. All mothers want their sons to grow up to be respectful of women because  it reflects well on his mother. When I’m treated well by a guy, I know it’s because his mom taught him well. In today’s society, being taught well isn’t enough. Words reflect actions. Being taught to respect women does nothing when the first woman in a boy’s life doesn’t respect herself.

Positive self-image starts from the earliest moments of life. As hard as it may be to be happy with what you see in the mirror, know that there’s a little girl or boy also looking at you in the mirror, seeking direction. From a young age, children look to their moms for guidance and answers. In this case, the answer you’re giving goes against your personal actions.

Mothers bring their children into the world with the intention of providing them with every good thing possible. Give them a gift that you may not possess: a positive self-image. This starts with reminding yourself that you deserve respect, and then incorporating that God-given right into your children’s lives. Teach your children healthy habits. Love yourself as much as you love them.

Sincerely,

A daughter

Sylvia Clubb

News Writer